


Unproduced scene from Doctor Who, series 8

by peterlorrecompanion



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 19:17:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4112047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterlorrecompanion/pseuds/peterlorrecompanion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sequel to "The question of Gallifreyan-human reproductive modes." The Doctor responds to Osgood and Barb's questions about Gallifreyan reproductive biology with unexpected frankness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unproduced scene from Doctor Who, series 8

Interior, the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, D.C., U.S.A. BARB is walking down a corridor followed by the TWELFTH DOCTOR and OSGOOD. BARB and OSGOOD look nervous and skittish, the DOCTOR serious and determined.

BARB: You must get asked this all the time.

DOCTOR: Yeh, but this is the first time I've answered.

BARB: Well, we really appreciate your trust in us.

DOCTOR: Trust--and I've disabled your phone cameras.

BARB and OSGOOD check their mobiles in alarm.

DOCTOR: Didn't we just pass your office?

BARB: You've done a pretty thorough background check on us.

DOCTOR: I always do. Can't be too careful with earth women.

They go into BARB'S office. DOCTOR locks the door behind them, goes to the window to close the blinds, then immediately starts undressing, which BARB and OSGOOD were clearly not expecting. BARB goes to turn on the light.

DOCTOR: No, leave that off. Now I'm here to answer all your questions, so ask away. No recording devices in here.

BARB: No, of course not!

DOCTOR: Of course not--I already checked. Now. Your first question will be, were there boys and girls on Gallifrey just like here on Earth. The answer, yes. Yes, the Gallifreyans have mummies and daddies and sons and daughters, and yes, River Song is my daughter. My wife. My daughter. My wife AND my daughter. Thank you for not hitting me.

BARB: Um--

DOCTOR: I know how you feel about that, well Gallifreyans feel that way too, but these are special circumstances, there are allowances you must make when you're the last of your species, or think you're the last of your species.

OSGOOD: So Amy--

DOCTOR: Yes, I don't like to talk about it, and in fact you are the only ones I've ever told this, but apparently one night Amy used a mood patch on me and I don't remember a thing, and that's when River Song happened. I'm only telling you because you are scientists, and you're women, so I know you'll understand. I am a victim of DATE RAPE. And I don't feel any better about it than you would, which I hope you never will.

OSGOOD and BARB murmur sympathetic comforting things.

DOCTOR: Thank you. Now you can turn on the light.

BARB turns on the light. The DOCTOR now has all his clothes off.

DOCTOR: Take a look. You can look all you want.

BARB and OSGOOD are sobbing now.

DOCTOR: Oh, it's not that bad, is it?

OSGOOD: No, you're beautiful.

DOCTOR: Really? Oh, please don't do that.

BARB and OSGOOD, wailing, give the DOCTOR a big group hug.

DOCTOR: Oh, you're getting me all wet.


End file.
